i am very very very sorry…
To fellow friends
(who attended the farewell travelling during 2003 at sia beach)
I am very very sorry, i did not know the trip let you people so suffered.
As a organizer, i did not provide all needed facilities for you while joining the trip. Until you were so uncomfortable while joining the trip. Sorry, i am really really sorry. This is my fault, i admit that. I am not concerning about your condition that time, i am too selfish. I am really sorry.
Thank you for telling me this, if not until now i also did not know you people were so suffering at that time. And i still no prepared all needed facilities for you, and still stay in a very lousy house. Though, some of the friends still slept outside the house and stung by mosquitoes. Oh my god. Why i am such a fool and waste you people money to join this trip.
I am such a bullshit and looser, how come i treat you people like that. Oh, i really hate myself, why during that time i am not concerning about you people. WHY? how stupid am i..This is so obvious, yet i still did not know what was going on… i am really sorry for my stupidness and selfishness.
I hope now i can do something to pay you back the suffering, hope i can do something for you. I am really guilty. I am not hoping you people to forgive me, because i should bear this responsible.
Again, I am very very very sorry for giving you the bad bad bad memories during stupid trip that i ever organized.
Sorry, my fellow friends…
Siew Mui
sad…tonight
li finish my practical, and complete my report…should be a happy and celebrate it? but..i feel not happy, a msg came and spoil my mood. but the problem not come from the msg, it is my problem. y? why i still cannot leave the thing that i should leave. i am stubborn. i know. i need to bear the suffer. it is my choice.
can i leave far far from here? can i? i hope, wish…can go far far away to stay in new environment, knowing new ppl, new job.. but i can’t do that,,,cos i have responsibility to take k of my parent. this is what i should do. money is not eveything, though money is important, family is the most important. so even i am quite suffer here,,i still need stay here and protect my family..bcos i love them.
tonight, is a lonely night, but a msg, make the lonely night become so silence.very quite..c
should i give up the thing that make me feel suffer? can i? but the prob is..caused by me..
actually nothing is happening…but i … i sad for nothing…
stupid, stubborn girl…
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